What God Has Created, Let Not Man Redefine (Genesis 2:15-25)
In his essay, “Marriage and the Modern Mind” from 1932, G.K. Chesterton lamented different things taking place that existed to erode and destroy marriage. He saw the changing view of divorce, big government, and new views on education as attempting to destroy the home. And in this essay he wrote,
“The first thing to say about marriage and the modern mind, therefore, is that it is natural enough that people with no mind should want to have no marriage.”[1]-G.K. Chesterton
The attacks on marriage in 1932 were obvious to only a few people in Chesterton’s day, they have become obvious to many today.
As Governor of California, Ronald Reagan ushered in a new era of attacks on marriage when he signed in to law the Family Law Act in 1969. The law became popular among State Legislatures and state after state adopted similar laws. And if you fast forward to 2015 the Obergefell decision changed the State’s definition of marriage to enable homosexual couples to marry as well.
A lot happened in the time in-between, but our society has been moving toward the destruction of marriage for a long time. Changing the definition of marriage in 2015 is only the latest move in a long line of things that have taken place in an attempt to destroy the family. And the entire scheme has left much damage in its wake.
As the Church, those who know and live in God’s Word, we understand that God made man, God made woman, and God made marriage, therefore it is God who states what marriage is and how we are to live in it. The attacks upon marriage have been wicked and Satanic and the results have been devastating.
God made the two genders and brought them together to make marriage. God made manhood, womanhood, and marriage and it is God who gets to define all of it.
God Made Man (Genesis 1:28, 2:7, 2:15-17)
God made man. It is a simple but profound statement and something we have discussed repeatedly in our journey thus far in the Book of Genesis. That act is not meaningless. God made man and thus gets to define what man is. He created man with certain attributes, characteristics, and a role that he was to exist within.
At Adam’s creation God gave Adam the charge to “work and keep” the Garden (Genesis 2:15). A few weeks ago, we examined this and saw that “work and keep” was very tied to Genesis 1:28 and that gardening, protecting, and expanding God’s presence are all in view in the text.
As was discussed last week, God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. In fact, Adam needed a helper to carry out this task. So, God brought out all of the animals to trot out in front of Adam so that Adam would realize that among the animals there really was no helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18-20). But Adam was not just sitting there moping. He was doing something. He was exercising dominion over creation and giving names to the animals. Adam had authority over them, therefore he named them.
Now, since we are talking about man, I am going to skip past the creation of woman to talk about Adam having authority over his wife. Adam named the animals and then he named his wife, both of these are signs of authority. But they are far different as well. Adam named the animals which were not equal with him (Genesis 2:19-20). Then Adam named the other gender “woman” which was equal with him (Genesis 2:23, 1:27).
We should understand two things from this act. First, both genders are created in God’s image. And I said both, on purpose. For there are only two genders. Again, God only created two. God created human beings and He decided that there would be two genders and we read about them in this text. And both of these genders are created in the image of God. They have equal worth and dignity. The second thing to understand from this is that of the two genders, God decided that man would be the head. The act of naming the woman is an act of authority and this authority is further expressed in other passages of Scripture.
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV)
“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” (Ephesians 5:23 ESV)
Ancient readers of this text would have understood the context well. God created man and woman as image bearers to work and keep the Garden temple. God created man first and gave him the duty to carry out this task, but it is not something that he could do alone. He needed a helper. He needed a woman.
This task involves raising our family well. Remember, “be fruitful and multiply” was a command about creating image bearers that would spread God’s presence to the world (Genesis 1:28). Raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord would have been included here. Having children is not a task that man can do alone nor is the other work that had to be done. Man needed a helper to complete the work that God had called him to.
Our society does not think highly of men and boys. I have watched one of the senseless people in our society read a book to her baby boy that basically lamented the fact that he was born a male. And this has come after many years of making fun of men in every way possible, especially on television shows and movies. But this is not the claim of Scripture at all. God created men and men are good. And we should understand that men who take responsibility are good. Though society wants to paint them as bad, even within this short narrative we see God making something good when He created man and gave him leadership in the home. Manhood, as God created it and intended it to function is good for him, his family, and society.
Men who do not take responsibility or are abusive are leeches upon society. Men were made for carrying responsibility and sacrificial leadership. And men that seek to lord their power over others are a terror to people. It should be obvious that this does not discredit all men. In fact, men who lovingly and caringly lead sacrificially as God intended are a tremendous blessing to their family and society.
What we find in Scripture is that men are to reflect Christ in the relationship with their wife. A man is the head of his wife and is to live self-sacrificially, as Jesus did, for the betterment of his wife. He is even to be willing to die for her if the need were to arise.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
This relationship between a husband and wife is an analogue of the relationship between Christ and His Church. We were born rebel sinners and rebelled against God. But God did not leave us in that condition. God sent His Son, who came to us and took upon Himself human flesh and dwelt among us. He lived for the Church, fulfilling all righteousness on her behalf. He died for the Church, paying the punishment for her sins. And He rose from the grave completely accomplishing her salvation. Now, a man cannot accomplish salvation for his wife, but he can live his life for his wife and even die for his wife. And that is the life that the man is called to. He is to live self-sacrificially for her.
Manhood is not about who can spit the farthest. It is about self-sacrificial love and care for others. Are you willing to live your life for your family? Are you willing to live your life sacrificially for your wife? Are you willing to ensure that your children respect your wife as they ought? That is the picture of manhood given to us in the Scriptures. And this is beneficial for our families.
Godly manhood is not achieved through yelling and screaming at those you wish to belittle. It is self-sacrificial leadership. A man that loses control and belittles the women and children under his care is trying to assert his dominance through abusive measures. A man that does that is not leading in a Christlike manner. He needs to be informed of his wrongdoing through actual godly men and repentance is required of him. Headship does not mean dominance. Abusive men are not to be tolerated among us. And if a man is abusive toward his own wife and children or toward other people, that should be brought to our attention so we can get the wife and children the help they need and possibly removed from the abusive man.
Headship in the home is not about everyone serving you. It is about you self-sacrificially leading your family. It’s not about you coming home, kicking off your shoes and having your needs met by barking out orders. It is about laboring to ensure that your family is cared for physically and spiritually.
Parents, strive as husband and wife to order your family well. Help them to see through your example how a mother and father should relate to one another. If they see it in you, it will be much easier to teach as time goes by.
And help your little boys to understand what manhood is. Help them to understand that it is about sacrificially leading. Don’t worry about these practices being out of date or strange. Our society is acting as if manhood does not matter. So many things that you do or say will seem strange to you and those around you. He should understand that hitting a girl is not to be tolerated. He should be protecting them, not bringing them harm. Make them be little gentlemen and do things like open the door for women and girls. Make them help bring in groceries. And teach your future men when it is okay to fight.
I have read in a few different books that Teddy Roosevelt, who would later become president, taught a Sunday School class for a short stint. And it was short because a young boy showed up to his Sunday School class with a black eye. The boy informed the future president that it happened because a bigger older boy had been pinching his sister, so he fought him. Roosevelt did not scold the boy. He gave the boy a dollar and told him that he had done well. When the churches leadership found out Roosevelt was removed from teaching these boys. And that was the wrong decision. Boys don’t need to be taught that violence is never okay. Boys need to be taught when it is wrong to be violent and when they need to react with violence.
My own parents tried to help my brother and I understand this when we were children. My brother and I were kicked out of Daycare because I stood up for my younger brother on the playground. It happened twice. The first time a boy older than my brother was picking on him on top of the slides so I threw him off of the top of the slide and into the gravel. We were sent home. And my parents did not tell me not to do it anymore. They scolded the teacher for letting my brother be treated that way on the playground and congratulated me for sticking up for my brother. The same thing happened again, and I slung the same boy headlong into the shed that held the playground activities. That time we were kicked out of the Daycare. And again, I was not in trouble. And I believe to this day that my parents made the right decision both times. And the reason is simple. Little boys will be men someday and they need to know when that sort of thing is required. They will have families to protect and need to learn the rules of engagement while they are young and these decisions are still in the future.
In a few years the little boys in our congregation are going to be men. And it is up to you to teach them how to sacrificially lead their future families. You need to help them to see how to sacrifice and when to fight. Winston stands up for Watson at school.
Boys, your rambunctious energy is not a bad thing. It may feel like it is a bad thing sometimes. But God gave you that energy. Your parents will help you to see where to direct it. They will teach you how to use that energy. And you need to listen to them and obey them as they teach you about growing up to be a man. God’s Word says over and over that great blessings come to those who love, honor, and respect their Mom and Dad. And you need to listen and learn from them as they teach you.
As a church we want to embrace the Bible’s definition of manhood and help our boys grow into that self-sacrificial responsibility. Sometimes that is difficult because boys have a harder time sitting around a table and learning or even sitting through a sermon. Through it all, it seems that boys are devalued. But let it not be so with us. Let us be a church that helps our little boys grow up to be men who lead self-sacrificially.
We also want to encourage those who are already men in our church to live self-sacrificially. Live for your family. Live for your church. Live for your society. Don’t be a selfish consumer. Live and lead self-sacrificially for the benefit of others.
Another thing that should be publicly stated concerning this text is that we see only two genders and there is a very good reason for that. God only created two genders. This is a far cry from the 64 that Google told me existed. But remember that the first 11 chapters of Genesis inform us of how God created the world and why it exists as it does today. Deviating from the God ordained way that the world was created is deviating from reality. It is not normal for a society to celebrate those who have deviated from reality. Up until recent times we have attempted to get those people the help that they have needed. But today we let them dress up in lude clothing and read to our children in the Public Library.
God Made Woman (Genesis 2:18-22, 3:20)
God did not make just one gender, nor did he make as many as the human imagination could stir up in their collective mind. God made two genders. The second gender He made was woman. And that is it.
Man was alone and God saw that man needed woman. It was not good that man was alone and so God made “a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). And like many of the greatest things that happen in Scripture, God made this helper completely by Himself. Man had nothing to do with it.
“So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21-22 ESV)
After causing Adam to see his need of the woman by causing all of these subpar helpers in front of him, God put Adam to sleep and made this helper all by Himself. And truly God made “a helper fit for him”.
There was something missing in the creation of man and from the rib of Adam God made what was missing. I often joke about how badly I needed my wife, but it is true. And it is evident to anyone who knew me before I married her. I can’t help but think that this was how Adam felt, as if something was missing. And as the animals passed by, he realized, in a small way what was missing. Then God perfectly supplied what was lacking.
And she was given to Adam to help with the task that he had already been given. She is Adam’s helper; this has already been discussed. But it is important here to note that man and woman were made different. I emphasized male headship in the last portion, but here I will emphasize the blatantly obvious thing that woman can do that man cannot that comes up just one chapter later.
After the fall we read this about Adam naming Eve.
“The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.” (Genesis 3:20 ESV)
In this incredibly short verse, we see two things. We see the authority of Adam, because he named Eve. But we also see the incredible ability of women to have and raise children. The abilities of men and women overlap a lot, but men cannot do this. And Eve is praised and exalted here for it.
If we were to honestly look at this text and compare it to other things that people read in that time it is dramatically different because the woman is equal with man. And her role as mother is exalted and praised in the text. There was no other creature in all of creation that would come alongside man and help in this task as woman could. And while other cultures and societies have devalued women over the ages the Bible did not. But note, the Bible does differentiate between men and women. They are equal, but they are different.
Our society is attempting to do away with the differences. For a long time, feminists said that they were fighting for women to be able to choose whether or not they could be in the workplace if they chose to go there. But once women in the workplace became commonplace, women who stayed at home were looked down upon for deciding to work at home. And many women in the workplace have gobbled up the rhetoric of these people and believe that the woman that stays at home is watching Daytime soaps all day. The family isn’t given the right to make that choice anymore, women are judged for opting out of a career and into working at home. They are oftentimes being judged solely based on the work that they do outside of the home and being treated as men have historically been treated.
Interestingly and sadly, now a man can claim to be a woman and a woman can claim to be a man. I saw a man on television crying while being videotaped because he was not able to breastfeed his baby. And some people discussed how sad this was because we have swum all the way to the deep end of the pool of absurdity in an attempt to drown ourselves. And just a few weeks ago The Senate Armed Services Committee proposed that all Americans, both men and women, be forced to register for Selective Service. Simply put, the differences in the two genders are no longer recognized in the public square.
God made two genders. And these two genders are both capable of amazing feats. There is some overlap, but there are major differences between the two.
We saw that after the Fall, the woman was called Eve, which sounds like the Hebrew word “life-giver”. This is the most remarkable difference between men and women. A woman can grow a baby inside of her and 9 months later have a child. She can then feed that child with her body until the baby is able to feed himself. And the woman is even biologically equipped to care for that little one in ways that men are not. Studies have shown us things such as women having the ability to differentiate between subtle shades of color better than men. That is why Mom is more likely to notice that the kid looks sick than Dad. And all of these things cause me to praise God for the differences in men and women. And you also have to consider that if the mandate is to multiply and fill the earth then the bulk of that work will fall upon the woman’s shoulders, even if the husband is helping out a lot at home.
And from this it can easily be seen that the word “helper” and the headship of men does not men subservient slave. The word was never intended as such. She comes alongside the man as a helper fit for the task.
We as Christians do not need to think of being a woman the same way the world does. Women are not men and should not be treated as if they are. They are different. Our society is terribly confused concerning this and needs to see a better way. And they need to see it from the way we live our lives.
This does not mean that women should not work outside of the home. I believe that this is a decision that every husband and wife should come together and make. I do think they need to talk about this very frankly with one another because it is a big decision. The Proverbs 31 woman did work outside of the home. Her feet were at home and she worked hard for her family but she did work outside of the home. But this does mean that we need to teach our daughters about the goodness of womanhood and being a woman. Our society does not do this. It teaches that it is good to be a man and so it is good for the woman to be like the man. Don’t fall victim to that way of thinking whether you work in or out of the home.
Parents, teach your daughters the beauty and joy of womanhood. I believe thar our culture does not do this, even when it tries its hardest. Help her to see her value and beauty by caring for her as a little girl created in God’s image. She should never feel like she is lesser, for she is created in God’s image. But she should also never feel pressure to be like a man, because she is going to be a woman. Teach her to love and cherish her femininity as a gift from God, not as something to be put off and rejected.
Girls, I am basically going to tell you the same thing that I told the boys. You are learning about being a woman even while you are a little girl. Someday you will, by God’s grace, be a woman. And your Mom and Dad are going to teach you how to grow up to be a godly woman. God’s Word says over and over that great blessings come to those who love, honor, and respect their parents. Listen to them as they teach you how to grow up to be a godly woman.
As a church we need to honor the women in our midst and treat them well. God has given them an honorable position and role as women and mothers and we need to treat them that way.
God Brought The Two Together And Made Marriage (Genesis 2:22-25)
One interesting thing that would be easy to miss is that God Himself presided over that first marriage. By Himself, God made the woman and brought her to Adam and joined them together by His pronouncement. And this marriage is the standard for all marriages that come after, which is every marriage.
Search your Scriptures concerning marriage and you will notice something interesting. Every teaching on marriage throughout the rest of Scripture has this first marriage as its foundation. This event was definitional. This event both created marriage and defined what it is. And the definition is one man and one woman joined together for life.
The instruction given was to leave the present family (Genesis 2:24). The idea here is to “forsake” his first family. His first priorities were to his father and mother, from now and forevermore things will not be the same. He is to leave his wife and mother to “hold fast to his wife” (Genesis 2:24 ESV).
The instruction is then given to “hold fast to his wife”, or stick to her (Genesis 2:24). This is covenant language that we see throughout the Scriptures. Gordon Wenham notes in his Genesis Commentary that these two ideas together, leaving and holding fast, are covenant ideas that are also found in Numbers 36:7-9 when the Tribes of Israel are told they will stick to their inheritance, and Deuteronomy 10:20; 11:22; 13:5 when Israel was told to stick to the Lord. And the idea here is simple. The husband and wife are now covenanted together forever.
Marriage as a covenant that is to last until death is something that Jesus taught repeatedly about marriage as well. And He got it from this text.
“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 9:6-9 ESV)
And now, husband and wife are joined together in a marvelous union which caused Adam to cry out,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
(Genesis 2:24 ESV)
At last he was whole. At last God had given to Adam what he had been previously missing. And now they are united as one forever. God joined man and woman together in marriage and only God is to separate them in death.
This was not just the bringing together of the first man and woman. This was the first marriage and God presided over the proceedings. God made woman and brought her to the man and there instituted and defined marriage. And every teaching on marriage in Scripture looks back to that first marriage as the event that defined what marriage was, is, and always will be. It is one man and one woman joined together in covenant for a lifetime.
From that moment onward, everything changed for Adam. He was to leave his family and stick to his wife. He was still to honor his family, but his closest relation and greatest obligation was to his wife and not his parents. And it is to be this way as long as both the husband and wife live.
Marriage means little in our society today. But it is the very foundation from which all of society sprang. God made a man, and He made a woman and brought them together. And from this union flowed the creation of communities, cities, governments, and society itself. So, the importance of this union cannot be overstated. We know from experience, and study after study that stable marriages create stable children that grow up to be stable adults. And volatility in marriage means volatility for the entire society.
God has defined what marriage is and how we should view it. It is of great importance to us, to our children, and to our future as a civilization. This is because God created marriage and gave it incredible dignity. Therefore, it means what He said it means, which is one man and one woman covenanted together for a lifetime.
Christian, marriage means what God says it means and everything else is a mirage. That needs to be plainly understood. Two men don’t get married, they pretend to get married. And though it looks like marriage, it is but a mirage. God has defined marriage and there is no such thing as a same-sex marriage. It is God who defines reality. There is no authority on Earth that can change reality. The Supreme Court did not change reality when it ruled on marriage a few years ago. And that will never change. God has defined marriage once for all time and that will never change. And on this we will not waver. The culture is pushing in another direction, but we will hold steady on the foundation of God’s Holy Word.
One of the biggest struggles that I have seen in a couple is how to interact with family after the marriage. The creation of a new union and the leaving of the old family unit oftentimes causes a struggle within a family, but the guidelines here are clear. Though we are to always honor our Fathers and Mothers the priority is to the one flesh union. This will look different throughout different ages and stages of life. There will come a time when honoring our parents will take more work, and it is work that we should do. But the priority is always to be with the one-flesh union.
Parents, did you realize that your kids are watching your marriage and gaining an understanding of what marriage is by watching you? They are watching how you interact with each other. They are listening to the stories that you tell about one another.
I have oftentimes heard it said that a woman will seek a man that is like her father. I know that doesn’t always happen but consider this, do you want your daughter to look for a man like yourself to marry someday? And the same saying holds true for little boys. Do you want them to look for someone like yourself to marry someday? And do you want them to treat their spouse the way you treat your own spouse?
And the lesson that I hope you are getting in all of this is that through your everyday actions you are teaching your children about marriage.
We are preaching a message with our marriages. As we have seen a few times in the last few weeks, our marriages are to be an analogue of the relationship between Christ and His Church. Are you effectively preaching the gospel with your marriage? What are your children seeing everyday? Is it an analogue of the relationship between Christ and the Church?
Church, honor and make much of marriage. God has endowed it with much glory and honor. Shouldn’t we do the same. John Calvin once wrote,
“The more Satan has endeavored to dishonor marriage, the more should we vindicate it from all reproach and abuse, that it may receive its due reverence.” (John Calvin)
And one way for us to do that is to honor and celebrate the marriages and anniversaries within our midst.
Conclusion
Our society seems to be at war with common sense and reality. And here is the reality on gender and marriage. God made them both. And He has defined both. God made the two genders and God made marriage, and it is God who defines what that means. This is the entire point of this message and the point that I hope you take home today.
God made manhood. God made womanhood. Then God made marriage when He brought the two together. It is not for us to attempt to change what God created. It is for us to live our lives within the reality that God has created.
R. Dwain Minor
[1] G.K. Chesterton, In Defense Of Sanity: The Best Essays Of G.K. Chesterton, Ignatius Press, San Francisco, 2011, p. 219.