You Were Built For Community (Genesis 2:18-23)
As I have mentioned a few times since beginning this series on Genesis, we get a better understanding of ourselves as we read and think through Genesis 1-11. And today is no different. People were not made to be loners. People were built for community.
I occasionally listen to a podcast called “The Art of Manliness”. The episode title was, “What’s Causing The Male Friendship Recession?” and it peeked my attention since I knew that this week I would be preaching on community. And the show truly was intriguing. It was born out of research that has recently been done by the Survey Center On American Life and it is similar to a survey done in 1990. The findings were that both men and women have less friends than they did 30 years ago but men have been hit the hardest. A man is 5x more likely today to say that they don’t even have one single close friend than they were 30 years ago. And the situation is probably going to get worse because it is young people that are having a harder time making friends.
It was an interesting thing to think about and consider because I could look around and see the truth of it. It doesn’t take a lot of investigating to find that people are lonely and behaving in wild ways because of the lack of community in their lives. This is because we were made to be in community with other people.
What we will see today is that we were built for communion with others. Communion is an act of sharing with others. Fellowship would be another word we might use in this instance. But I want us to see that we were built for these relationships with each other. Even though we might express this differently with one another, we were made for this community with each other.
You were built for communion with others.
You Were Not Made To Be Alone (Genesis 2:18-20)
God could have created human beings with a rather robotic capacity to live completely on their own like a person creating a robot or a machine to do a task. But that is not what God did. He created people to live with one another. He created people for community with others.
God made us in His image. And, as Christians we know that God is a communal being. Even before the foundation of the world God lived in perfect harmony with Himself. Listen, I know the language is confusing, but it is because God exists outside of our complete understanding. It would be weird if language perfectly described God. Jesus describes this in John 17:20-21.
“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (John 17:20-21 ESV)
Notice Jesus’s words. Jesus and the Father are One. And we understand that the Holy Spirit is also included in this fellowship though He is not discussed here. And this idea is not foreign to the Book of Genesis. We have already seen in Genesis 1:26 the discussion within the Godhead concerning the creation of man.
And so, when God created us in His image we were made as people who live in community. This characteristic was passed to us at our creation. We, as creatures created in God’s image were made to live in community.
I have oftentimes laughed at this next scene. In verse 18 we read that God said,
“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV)
And here is where things get humorous. God does not immediately give Adam a helper. God saw Adam’s loneliness and passed a bunch of animals in front of him “to see what he would call them.” (Genesis 2:19 ESV) Though the act of naming these animals was important, it was an act of dominion in which Adam who was God’s representative gave them names, it seems that at least part of the purpose of this act was to reveal to Adam his need for companionship. And so, at the end of this “there was not found a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:20 ESV) Simply put, an animal just wouldn’t cut it.
This text is pushing us toward the first marriage, but this says a lot about the human condition and how we were created. We were created to live in community with other human beings. Over and over Scripture tells us this very thing. We are not just told that we should be in community with others. We are told that it is foolish to be a loner.
“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1 ESV)
The person who breaks away from the crowd is seen here as a selfish imbecile. That person seeks whatever they want and they have moved away from anything that can be called good judgment. It is foolish to be a loner.
That is not where it all ends with Scripture. In Scripture we find repeated warnings about the type of people that we are supposed to have in our lives. It’s foolish to be a loner but it is also foolish to have the wrong type of friends in our lives.
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20 ESV)
This tells us that there is a high priority placed upon fellowship. You’re a fool if you’re a loner and you’re a fool if you choose bad friends.
And as Christians we understand that God has commanded us to live among a community of believers. This is not optional for the Christian. It is absolutely necessary.
The Christian has been brought into God’s family. And because of this our brothers and sisters are those who have been adopted into the family of Christ (Ephesians 1:3-5). We are those who have been called out of this world and brought into this community of believers, just like those we read of in the Book of Acts (Acts 2:42-47). And we are not to neglect the relationship we have with other believers.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV)
So, when you became a believer, you did not just get a ticket into Heaven. You were placed into a relationship with God and with His other children. And this relationship is considered so important that we are to nurture it as we encourage and care for one another for the rest of our lives.
We were not made to be alone. And Christians were not born again to be alone. We need others.
Human beings were created in such a way that they will not develop as they should without physical touch and human interaction. An article about infant touch from Scientific American emphasizes this well,
“The stark institutional isolation prevalent in the orphanages of some countries might have mostly melted away decades ago, but many babies and young children all over the world still grow up in environments where touch and emotional engagement are lacking. Many children who have not had ample physical and emotional attention are at higher risk for behavioral, emotional and social problems as they grow up.”[1]
When I read this I understand just how necessary living among other people is. It is so engrained in our makeup that we will not develop properly without it.
And much like the growth of children, Christians will not develop without being in the body of believers. We need one another.
The world is lonely right now. A number of things happened before Covid that caused this, but I am sure that Covid only made matters worse. 15% of men in a recent survey said that they had no close friends at all, compared to just 3% in 1990. And about 10% of women could say the same thing compared to just 2% in 1990. Many people see say that this is because of social media usage, and I think this is probably true. But I do not believe this accounts for most of it. Church attendance has been shrinking since the early 1990’s. People are not getting married as early or as much as they did at that time either. Nor are they having children as much as they once did. This means that peewee sports and other activities are not bringing people together. All of this is having an isolating affect on people and they are really more alone than they have ever been. And people are feeling the repercussions of it.
Christians, don’t take these relationships for granted. God has placed you within His family and within a local congregation where we can share grace and love with one another. Nurture those relationships. Do not isolate yourself. Reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Spend time with one another. Encourage one another and hold each other accountable. Here in this church we have something that the world is longing for. And the reason we have it is Christ.
Jesus came, not just to save our souls from Hell, but to bring us together as part of His family. Christians have been adopted into God’s family and because of that I have a place in which I belong. I have a whole lot of brothers and sisters that are not natural born that I spend time with on a regular basis. They may not be natural born, but that bond is even deeper because it was purchased by the blood of Christ.
Last week we saw that we were created for fellowship with God. But we know that in chapter 3 that fellowship is ruptured and that is passed down to us even today. God is holy and righteous and does not tolerate sin and so Adam and Eve were kicked out of that Garden Temple that we oftentimes call Paradise. They were removed from God’s presence and all of us would live our lives wandering in the world East of Eden if not for the work of Christ. God the Son came to Earth and took on human flesh and dwelt among us. In His flesh He accomplished everything that we should have accomplished. And He died paying the punishment for our sins. And so, all those who trust in Him can be given His righteousness and forgiveness of sins. And the Church is the community of the redeemed. We are those who wear the white robes. We are restored to fellowship with God and our brothers and sisters are those who have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.
There exists a deep bond between us and we are to take those relationships very, very seriously.
Church, I don’t know if you have thought through this yet, but there exists an amazing opportunity here. This local congregation shows tremendous love and community toward one another, and it is something that the outside world is looking for. Do you want to know how to get people in the doors of this church? Show them the love that you have for one another. There are a whole lot of people out there looking for that sort of thing. And it is thoroughly biblical.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35 ESV)
So, reach out in love to your neighbor. Speak to your neighbor about how wonderful the people you worship with are every Sunday. Let them know that this is a kind and loving group of people that you are happy to have by your side whatever may come your way. That is something that will peek interest in a society as starved for true community as ours is.
You Were Made For A Person Of The Opposite Sex (Genesis 2:21-22)
After some wrangling in my own mind about how to think through this and teach it I settled here, with this as the memorable title for this point. But there is a qualifier that is necessary at the beginning of this. Some people have a gift of singleness. Therefore, this does not apply to absolutely every single person. But it applies to almost every person.
This is seen most clearly in 1 Corinthians 7 in Paul’s discussion about singleness and marriage.
“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:6-9 ESV)
He states plainly something that Jesus alluded to in Matthew 19:11. The ability to live as a single person is a gift from God. Most people do not have this gift. And the key indicator as to whether or not you have this gift is if you “cannot exercise self-control” and if you “burn with passion” then you do not have it.
Most human beings, however, were made to be with a spouse. This first marriage is going to be the topic for the sermon next week. This week we are seeing that we were created for community. Next week we are going to see that God made and defined marriage in this first marriage. So, I will gloss past many details that we will come back to later. But notice here what God says about man after he was created.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV)
God saw that man was not good alone. He knew Adam more deeply than Adam knew himself and knew that he needed someone. He knew that he needed a woman. I understand this, possibly more deeply than most. Or, maybe it is just that I am going to express this out loud and all the men are going to agree with me, but God knew that I needed a woman as well. But it does not seem that Adam understood this yet, so God made him understand.
The next thing that happens is not that God fixes the problem, but that God revealed to Adam his need for this companionship. Every living creature now is trotted out before Adam (Genesis 2:19-20). At this time Adam is revealed to be the representative of God over the world. His naming of the animals is part of his duty as God’s vice regent, but something else happens.
“But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:20 ESV)
Adam was forced to confront the fact that he was alone in this world as animals were trotted before him. Pairs or groups of the same kind of animal walked before Adam and as he named them there was nothing in all of creation that could bring him what he needed. And when Adam realized this God made a woman.
“So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21-22 ESV)
Her creation was much more dignified than his. She was crafted from a rib in the Temple Garden of Paradise while Adam was created from dust outside of Eden. And out of all creatures that God made it was the woman that was necessary to give to the man the companionship that he was lacking. She was “a helper fit for him.”
This helper discussion will take place next week, but three things should be understood right now. First, no other creature could fill that role. Pets won’t cut it, no matter how many cats they have. Second, they are both equal but they are both different. And third, there are only two of them. If we weren’t in such a weird cultural moment this last one would not have to be said, but as it is, here we are.
Our society is confused on many fronts. It has added things they call genders, but since they are not rooted in reality are little more than an overactive imagination attempting to reimagine their self as something they are not. Our society is also putting off marriage and does not value marriage or children. While marriage will be the topic of discussion next week, this is causing many problems and it is making people lonely. People are also putting off or deciding not to get married and have kids which is incredibly isolating. All three of the things mentioned, imagining yourself and recreating yourself based on that inner imagination, not getting married, and not having children are generally decisions that cause a person to lead a rather self-centered life. So, it is no shock that people are finding that there is a lot of loneliness in those lifestyles.
Now, we all go through periods of singleness. And some people will remain single because they have been gifted supernaturally. I want to say this about singleness. Anyone in that situation in their life is to make much of Christ in that time. Whether it be before marriage or the way you are going to live your entire life we are to be people wholly devoted to the Lord when we are single.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV)
Whether you are single for a time period or single for the rest of your life this is a time period where your thoughts are not divided between the Lord and how to care for your family. Use this time to honor Christ.
Christian, honor marriage. Honor the different roles that men and women have in our lives and in society. And seek to truly honor the Lord in your marriage. We live in a world of impermanence in all things. And this has flooded over into our family lives. Marriages are falling apart in the world, do not let it be so with you. Love and honor your spouse. Care for your spouse. Cherish your spouse. And nurture that relationship with one another.
Your spouse is that person who throughout the rest of your life will endure battle after battle by your side. You will work together to own a home, to maintain a home, to raise children in the Lord, counsel your adult children, work to leave something for your children, and one day physically care for each other while you are dying. This relationship is nothing small. Other than your relationship with Christ, that is the most important relationship you will ever have. Take it seriously and nurture it.
As great and wonderful as these earthly realities are, they pale in comparison to what they image forth.
This Earthly Community Looks Forward To Greater Community
If we stop and think for a moment about the ultimate reality to come, the New Heavens and New Earth, then we realize that these wonderful relationships that we have are but shadows of what is to come.
Marriage itself is an analogue of the relationship between Christ and the Church. This simply means that marriage itself is an analogy of that relationship. It pictures the greater relationship between Christ and the Church.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
The husband and wife’s love for one another, their relationship with one another, and the roles that they play within marriage are all incredibly important because they do something. They image forth the greater reality of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
More will be discussed about this next week, but for now realize that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church. The husband is to live for His wife and die for His wife if necessary. And she is to submit to her husband, or another way of saying it would be to be his helper. And all of this, as Paul says is an image of that relationship between Christ and His Church.
There is also something greater happening as we live life as brothers and sisters in Christ. We are imaging forth a picture of what will one day come in the New Heavens and Earth when all things are made new when all the Redeemed worship the Lord together. On that day when we live in complete and total harmony with another in perfect unending companionship with all those who have been redeemed. And our Sunday Morning gatherings anticipate that very day. As Dieterich Bonhoeffer said in his book, “Life Together”.
“So between the death of Christ and the Last Day it is only by a gracious anticipation of the last things that Christians are privileged to live in visible fellowship with other Christians. It is by the grace of God that a congregation is permitted to gather visibly in this world to share God’s Word and sacrament.”[2]
The society at large knows nothing of this. But the aching they have is because they are longing for something more. We were created for community but it’s not there. We were created for fellowship with others, but it is lacking. And praise be to God that we, as Christians, participate in this reality in the here and now. We love one another and care for one another now. Our fellowship is sweet now. How much greater will it be when we do this in the New Heavens and Earth.
And this is all possible because Jesus lived and died for us. He brought us to Himself through His perfect salvation. And He brought us to one another through His perfect salvation. All praise be to God that He has done this for us, that He has given to us the beautiful gifts of marriage and Christian community.
So, husbands, love you wives as Christ loved the Church. Wives, submit to your husbands as the Church submits to Christ and image forth that beautiful relationship between Christ and the Church. Families are falling apart all over our society, image forth the gospel of God’s grace well. Let us show the world what they have lost and that they have gone crazier than a bag of cats. Let us show them that there is a better way and that they need Jesus. Let them see Jesus as they look within our families.
And let them see Jesus as they look at the relationships that we have with one another. As the world falls apart, let us image forth the glorious gospel of God’s grace in our relationship with one another.
Conclusion
You were made for community. God created you in such a way that you need to be surrounded by people you love and who love you. And when we understand this, we begin to understand just how important our relationships are on this Earth. But even the sweetest relationship this side of Heaven pales in comparison to what is coming our way.
R. Dwain Minor
[1] https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/ accessed 07/28/2021.
[2] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “Life Together”, Harper One, 1954, p. 18