Fathers, Nice Is Not Enough: A Look At Eli (1 Samuel 1-4)
We look around at our society and wonder what has gone wrong. We wonder why society is not ordered well. We wonder why a person doesn’t view the world rightly or why a person will act so poorly. We see a lack of responsibility among adults and wonder why they think this way. We see horrible atrocities and wonder how they can happen. But here is the reason, they have no chest. Virtue has not been developed in them.
One of the writings of C.S. Lewis that I don’t here mentioned often is “The Abolition of Man”. It is fantastic. And in it he sheds some light on the problems that we are facing.
After explaining that there is something between the head (intellect) and the body (appetites) that helps to control our actions. In his own words, the chest “emotions organized by trained habit into stable sentiments”. Humans are taught how to feel and to react to things. We teach our children how to live in the world and the convictions they are to hold. Some people in his day, and our own, believed they were too intelligent for this sort of thing. His assessment of them was that, “their heads are no bigger than the ordinary; it is the atrophy of the chest beneath that makes them seem so.”
And then, he states,
“All the time—such is the tragi-comedy of our situation—we continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more ‘drive’, or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or ‘creativity’. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”[1]
C.S. Lewis wrote these words 78 years ago, but we see it plainly today.
Our society has decided that it does not want to build into people any sort of virtue that can sustain a society. We have not taught people to think rightly about the world around them. And we are left with human beings who do not know how to think, act, or behave in the world. And we look at them and say, “Go, be virtuous.”
Now, zoom in to your own life. It’s not good enough to look at the world’s problems and lament the state of things. Look at your own life. Consider your own families.
In the book, “Stand Up! A Guide To Biblical Manhood” which I am hoping to work through with the men of our church in the near future, they state,
“Home is the place where your leadership will be needed around the clock and where your vulnerabilities will be most obvious, but it’s also the place where you have the potential to bear the most fruit as you shape little hearts for eternity.”[2]
From my own assessment of ministry over the years is that there are a lot of really nice men in church. They are men who, I have no doubt, love Jesus. They love God’s Word. They care about the state of their families. But there seems to be a disconnect.
Men have been given the responsibility to lead families that prioritize raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Where that is missing you will find adults without virtue and a society expecting them to be virtuous.
And here is what I am doing today in this sermon. We are going to look at the story of Eli and his worthless sons in hopes that the men in this congregation will take their leadership role seriously and not raise worthless children of their own. This is a call to take responsibility. It is a call to be faithful husbands and fathers that will do the hard work of raising children in the fear and the admonition of the Lord.
Fathers, it is not enough to be a nice and hard working guy. You are responsible and your whole family will reap the rewards of your labors.
I want to say that again so that everyone understands what I am saying. Men, you are responsible for what happens in your families as the heads of your households. You are responsible and your whole family will reap the rewards of your labors.
The Good Guy (1 Samuel 1:1-20)
We don’t know a while lot about Eli. From what we can gather from the portrait of him in 1 Samuel 1-4, it seems that he was a nice guy. It seems that he loved the Lord and enjoyed serving Him. This seems especially evident in 1 Samuel 1:1-20.
Read 1 Samuel 1:1-20 and pay careful attention to Eli and his interactions.
We notice that Eli has two sons in 1 Samuel 1:3. Nothing is said about them in that verse, only that Hophni and Phineas are his sons and that they are priests. Eli is not a young man and these sons of his are adults. There is a lifetime of things left unmentioned. There is no mention of his interactions with his children up to this point. Simply put, all we know is that he has two sons. But, as the story unfolds the past becomes all too clear.
For those of you that have children in the home, understand that you don’t just have a child in your home. The scope of events is much bigger than that. You have future men and women in your home. Or, to put it another way, you have children in your home that will grow up to be adults and one day spend eternity somewhere. Those little beings that live in your home are image bearers of God that will live for eternity. And before they make it to eternity, if the Lord wills, they will become adults. And hopefully, as adults, they will have the marks of having been raised by parents who cared enough about them to raise them as fully functioning adults who desire to live according to God’s Word. And, as of yet, there is no indication as to how Eli raised his children.
Hannah had come to pray, and she was praying earnestly. Her earnest prayers and moving of her mouth in prayer caused Eli to think that Hannah was drunk. And he was totally willing, as a priest in the house of God, to restrain drunkenness from someone else in His presence. He said to her,
“How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” (1 Samuel 1:14 ESV)
And when he found out that she was not drunk and understood the situation sought to give Hannah comfort.
“Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to Him.” (1 Samuel 1:17 ESV)
It is hard to make a judgment call on Eli’s life from this small snippet in time, but he certainly seems like a faithful priest of the Lord. In this moment we see him do two things that are really good, he has a desire to restrain evil and he gives comfort to a lady who desperately needed it.
Hannah’s prayer was answered, and she had a son named Samuel. And she fulfilled the vow she had made to the Lord. Remember her prayer,
“O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch His head.” (1 Samuel 1:11 ESV)
In essence, she was promising to keep the portion of the Nazarite vow of Numbers 6 that separated a person to the Lord. And she made a vow that her son would be separated unto the Lord. And it was a vow that she kept when she handed her boy off to Eli.
“And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the LORD. For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to Him. Therefore I have lent Him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD.” (1 Samuel 1:26-28 ESV)
And then after the beautiful prayer of Hannah, we find that Eli was faithful to mentor this child as one devoted to the Lord.
“Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy was ministering to the LORD in the presence of Eli the priest.” (1 Samuel 1:11 ESV)
When you look at the life of Eli, what do you see?
I see a person who is a nice guy and is faithful to the work that God has called him to.
Worthless Children And A Negligent Father (1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-25)
It is at this point that we get to understand a bit more about Eli’s children. And the results are not good.
The very first line is staggering.
“Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD.” (1 Samuel 2:12 ESV)
Remember, they were priests. “Hophni and Phinehas were priests of the LORD” (1 Samuel 1:3 ESV). And though their food was to come from the offerings it was to be done in a particular manner, reverently, and in the place outlined. But what we find here is something grotesque. Before the offering was even given in any way, the sons of Eli were taking what they wanted of the offering. And if anyone refused to do so they were threatening violence to take it. Rather than serving the Lord, they were taking as much as they could as “priests of the LORD”. And God was very displeased with the actions of these two men.
The story seems to move forward a few years at this point and apparently the behavior of Eli’s sons has not changed. In fact, it has gotten worse.
“Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting.” (1 Samuel 2:22 ESV)
It seems that years have passed, and the behavior of his children has only grown. Their behavior did not get better, it only got worse. Indeed, a child whose bad behavior is neglected will typically not grow into better behavior.
Eli had finally worked up the courage, or it is probably the case that he just got so tired of their behavior that he had to say something. When he did they would not listen.
You may think that Eli had done all that he could at this point, but that is simply not the case. Eli still had a number of actions that he could have taken. He could have worked to have his sons removed from the priesthood. He could have held them responsible for the sins they were currently committing in the temple. They were committing adultery in the place of worship. But Eli, the nice guy that he was simply shrugged it off again.
If we look at how Eli behaved in his later years, we gain an understanding of his younger years. We see in his later years that he was not willing to stand up to his children and do what was necessary. I am assuming here that Eli spent his whole life neglecting this massively important thing. He didn’t love his children enough to discipline them.
And here is the application that I want to make. Your children do not come out of the womb ready to live in this world. In fact, they do not come out of the womb good and well adjusted. Your children do not come out of the womb morally upright and good. They come out of the womb needing a healthy dose of correction and the parent that loves their child will give the correction that Eli did not.
I want to look at a few Proverbs this morning to think through this problem. The first is Proverbs 22:15. It is not righteousness and goodness that are “bound up in the heart of a child”, but “folly” or “foolishness”. And foolishness is at root wickedness and a rejection of God’s ways. Parents are duty bound to discipline their children in order to rid them of that foolishness.
“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15 ESV)
Disciplining a child is not an act of hatred. It is an act of rescue. And neglecting that duty is allowing them to walk in rebellion against the Lord.
“Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.” (Proverbs 19:18 ESV)
“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.” (Proverbs 23:13-14 ESV)
Children are a blessing from the Lord, but there is a sense in which they are not an automatic blessing. In other words, there is a sense in which taking hold of that blessing from the Lord depends upon on whether or not you correct your children and drive the folly far from them.
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15 ESV)
“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17 ESV)
And so, the Scriptures do not let us think that we are loving when we neglect to discipline our children. God makes it clear to us time and time again that discipline is an act of love.
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24 ESV)
Do not neglect the correction of your children! They do not magically become better people. They must be trained and it is up to you to do it.
God Gives A Chance For Repentance (1 Samuel 2:27-36)
Eli was visited by someone carrying a message from the Lord. And this message is not one that I would ever want to hear.
God had shown incredible blessing to Eli by calling him out to serve him. And the needs of he and his family were met in this way. God had provided well for him and had given him an exalted place of service (1 Samuel 2:27-28). And instead of responding faithfully Eli neglected God’s command.
“Why then do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?” (1 Samuel 2:29 ESV)
Eli did not honor the Lord when he neglected to do the right thing. He thought little of the Lord and all that God had done for Him. He did not keep His sons from doing what they were supposed to do.
I fully believe that God was giving Eli one last chance to repent. There is a principle in Scripture that we find over and over and it is that God’s announcement to a nation or a people is a chance for repentance.
Here it is spelled out in the Book of Jeremiah.
“If at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, and if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I intended to do to it. And if at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, and if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will relent of the good that I had intended to do to it.” (Jeremiah 18:7-10 ESV)
When a person hears God’s judgment against them declared they have an opportunity. Eli does not seem to take the opportunity to change. The next thing we read is of the Lord speaking to Samuel some time later. And when Samuel delivers the message of God’s displeasure with Eli he seems to just resign himself to the judgement that is coming.
“So Samuel told him everything and hid nothing from him. And he said, “It is the LORD, Let Him do what seems good to Him.” (1 Samuel 3:18 ESV)
Eli heard the warning of God. And he did not heed the warning. We hear warning after warning in Scripture about how the world works. We are warned time and time again about the horrible things that result from neglecting our children and neglecting the discipline of our children.
We can look around and see the results of ignoring this warning in the world that surrounds us. Person after person is growing up not knowing or not understanding how they are live and walk in this world. There is a lack of understanding of right and wrong and a large number of people who walk in the way that leads to death. And this is exactly what we are told will happen. And like Eli, we are given a chance to repent.
As Christians, we understand that we are to raise our children up in God’s Word. We teach them to obey God’s commands and to walk in His ways. I can’t save my child, but I can teach Him God’s ways and I can teach Him about the salvation that Christ has accomplished on our behalf. has accomplished on our behalf. And when we realize that we are not doing this as we ought, we are warned by passages like this so that we can start to do things the right way.
So, let’s imagine that you never read the Bible in your home or taught Scripture to your kids. Let’s imagine that you have neglected the consistent discipline of your children in the home. When is the best time for you to have started that? Probably a long time ago. When is the second-best time for you to start it? Today. If you didn’t do it yesterday, then the best and most God-honoring thing that you can do is begin to do it today.
If you have neglected to do these things in your home, then let the life of Eli be the motivation for you to begin doing these things in you home.
Father’s You Are Responsible And The Whole Family Reaps The Reward (1 Samuel 3-4)
Now, being a father has a lot to do with responsibility. You are the head of the household. And, while that may sound enjoyable, that also means that the buck stops with you. You are the one that is responsible for what goes on in your home. And here we see that Eli was held responsible for what was going on with his household.
The most important thing about 1 Samuel 3 is really God calling Samuel to be Eli’s replacement. Yet, the last three or four times that I have read this passage I have been haunted by God’s declaration about Eli.
“Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which the two ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. On that day I will fulfill against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever; for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” (1 Samuel 3:11-14 ESV)
The thing that haunts me when I read this text is that God punished the house of Eli, not necessarily for the sins of Eli’s sons, but for Eli’s not restraining them. Yes, Eli’s children behaved atrociously and it was their sin. But Eli didn’t restrain them.
Another way of saying this is that God punished Eli’s household for Eli’s lack of leadership. Eli was responsible for the behavior of his household and he did not fulfill his obligations before his family and before the Lord.
And what was going to happen to Samuel because of it? What was going to happen to his family? Pure devastation. And the responsibility was Eli’s.
This may sound unfair to the modern ear. But, if you think through our modern situation, then you’ll see that this happens all the time today.
Statistic after statistic reveals to us that absentee fathers, those who abandon their families altogether cause horrific problems for their children. The children of a Dad who just walks out is more likely to have behavioral problems, drop out of school, have depression and/or anxiety, struggle financially, become promiscuous, face teenage pregnancy, abuse drugs, abuse alcohol, become aggressive and violent, and also to continue this cycle and leave their own children when they become parents.[3]
Let me ask you this. Who was at fault? There may have been fault from both parents, but obviously the father was at fault. And the horrors of this life fell upon his children because he left.
Now, let me think through a Dad that stays at home. A Dad who abdicates his responsibility in the home will cause many of the same issues. Eli definitely saw his sons doing some of the things on this list, and had they lived in today’s culture I am certain that they would have done more. And why do you think that teachers are griping about parents who don’t hold their children responsible for their misbehavior and lack of work ethic all the time? Don’t you think it’s because absentee parents are raising children that can’t function in society?
The life of Eli is one long warning to fathers. And what are you going to do upon hearing it?
The application of this message is obvious and broad. It amounts to this. Fathers, you are the head of your household. You are responsible to make sure that your family is ordered well and that your children are raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord. You labor together with your wife, but ultimately you are the leader and the responsibility of doing what you are supposed to do falls upon you.
Is your family coming together and seeking the Lord?
Are you learning God’s Word in your home?
Are you teaching your children to live a life of godliness?
Are you disciplining your children so that the foolishness will be departed from them? I don’t believe that you have to be spanking your children every time they do something wrong, but I do believe that they need to be trained in righteousness and part of that is discipline.
What is the state of your household? Think about it. Consider it. You are responsible.
The story, as we continue, doesn’t all of a sudden become a happy one. It becomes one of the saddest scenes in all of Scripture.
The Philistines defeated Israel in battle and the Israelite elders decided it was a good idea to bring the “ark of the covenant of the LORD” to the battle “from Shiloh” so that it would save them from the “power of” their “enemies” (1 Samuel 4:2-3). And when they arrived to retrieve the ark Hophni and Phinehas “were there with the ark of the covenant of God” (1 Samuel 4:4 ESV).
The ark made it to the came and it seems that the Israelites were heartened by what was about to take place. The mighty shout of the Israelites struck the Philistines with fear, but they did not run. Rather, they fought for their lives and said “be men and fight” (1 Samuel 4:9 ESV).
“So the Philistines fought, and Israel was defeated, and they fled, every man to his home. And there was a very great slaughter, for thirty thousand foot soldiers of Israel fell. And the ark of God was captured, and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, died.” (1 Samuel 4:10-11 ESV)
Eli was not among those in battle. He was 98 years old and terrified of what might happen to the ark. He questioned a man who had come from the battle and the miserable scene ends with more misery.
“And the man said to Eli, “I am he who has come from the battle; I fled from the battle today.” And he said, “How did it go, my son?” He who brought the news answered and said, “Israel has fled before the Philistines, and there has also been a great defeat among the people. Your two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God has been captured.” As soon as he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell over backward from his seat by the side of the gate, and his neck was broken and he died, for the man was old and heavy. He had judged Israel forty years. Now his daughter-in-law, the wife of Phinehas, was pregnant, about to give birth. And when she heard the news that the ark of God was captured, and that her father-in-law and her husband were dead, she bowed and gave birth, for her pains came upon her. And about the time of her death the women attending her said to her, “Do not be afraid, for you have borne a son.” But she did not answer or pay attention. And she named the child Ichabod, saying, “The glory has departed from Israel!” because the ark of God had been captured and because of her father-in-law and her husband. And she said, “The glory has departed from Israel, for the ark of God has been captured.” (1 Samuel 4:12-22 ESV)
Conclusion
This passage is an incredible warning. And it’s one that we should feel deep within our bones. The story of Eli should cause us to take account of our life and see that we don’t fall into the same mistakes that he did.
Fathers, you cannot save your children anymore than Eli could have. God is the one who has made a way for us to be saved through the work of His Son. God took responsibility for the salvation of His people. All of mankind has rebelled against God. Every child and every adult stands as a sinner in need of a Savior. And God did not leave us in that state. He provided a way for us to be brought to Him. God the Son took on human flesh and dwelt among us. He lived a perfect life, accomplishing everything that we should have accomplished and committing no sin. He then went to the cross and paid the full punishment for rebellion against a holy God and rose from the grave three days later having completely accomplished this salvation. And every individual must respond to this message by turning from ruling their own lives, turn from trying to achieve salvation on their own, turn from finding their salvation in anyone but Jesus Christ and trust in Him.
But, this does not negate our responsibility. As I told the women on Mother’s Day, I will tell you today. Your job is to labor and pray, God saves.
I want to leave you with a quote from Matthew Henry that, after thinking through the life of Eli, should leave you with a dreaded sense of responsibility to raise your children according to God’s Word. It is from a sermon he delivered on the family long ago.
“Every child you have has a precious and immortal soul, that must be forever either in Heaven or Hell. Will it not be very sad, if through your carelessness and neglect your children should learn the ways of sin, and perish eternally in those ways? Give them warning, that, if possible, you may deliver their souls, at least you may deliver your own, and may not bring their curse and God’s too, their blood and your own too, upon your heads.”[4]
R. Dwain Minor
[1] C.S. Lewis, “The Abolition of Man”, taken from “The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics, HarperSanFrancisco, 2002, p. 475.
[2] Randy Stinson and Dan Dumas, “Stand Up! A Guide To Biblical Manhood”, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary Press, 2011, p. 79.
[3] https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/breaking-the-cycle-of-absent-fathers/
[4] Matthew Henry, from the sermon “A Church In The House”, found in “Building a God Centered Family”, edited by Scott T. Brown, Merchant Adventures LLC, 2010, p. 42.