The Fifth Commandment
Everything to do with the family seems to be devalued in our day. Grandparents are devalued. Parents are devalued. A lot of parents don’t stay together. Children struggle through all of this because they were meant to have a family and to value their family.
Is it any wonder that there is a lack of respect for authority in our day?
Is it any wonder that children grow up unable to function in society at higher and higher rates?
What Does It Mean To Honor Our Parents?
In Scripture the word honor is used when we pay do revere or prize God or those who are in authority. And the word “honor” also carries the idea of being obedient to, or submitting to authority.
Notice that this is how Paul interprets the command in Ephesians 6.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Ephesians 6:1-3 ESV
Later on in life this would mean taking care of, or figuring out how to have your parents taken care of. Solomon and Paul seem to at least hint at this being part of the command to honor our father and mother.
Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
1 Timothy 5:3-4 ESV
And this also seems to be the idea that is found in Proverbs 23:22.
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Proverbs 23:22 ESV
There needs to be some level of care given to our parents. They gave us life and we are to make sure that they are taken care of. That does not mean that you have to put your parents into a mansion, but it does mean that we need to make sure they are cared for. That may be in your home, but it may not. You may not be capable of doing that.
Other Passages From The Pentateuch
And here are a few other passages of Scripture from the Pentateuch that discuss this command. I find them to be very helpful in considering the meaning of the command today. It’s application in the rest of the Pentateuch sheds some light on the meaning of the command.
Leviticus 19:3 discusses honoring our parents and emphasizes an attitude of reverence for them. This was the first part of our understanding of what it means to “honor” our fathers and mothers.
Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 19:3 ESV
So far the command has been to reverence and obey father and mother. A person who went so far in the other direction as to hit their parents committed a horrible offense. They were to be put to death.
“Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death. “Whoever steals a man and sells him, and anyone found in possession of him, shall be put to death. “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Exodus 21:15-17 ESV
And cursing father and mother was also a capitol offense.
For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.
Leviticus 20:9 ESV
Rewards And Punishment
This commandment is very important and finds its way into a lot of different books of the Bible both in the Old and New Testament. I think the reason for this is that it is that important. And so, let’s look at the original reward given for keeping this command and what that means for us as New Testament believers.
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12 ESV
The reward given in the command is “long life in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 ESV) Now, when I think about my place in the world and in history it’s pretty easy to understand that I am not living in the land that was given to Moses and the Israelites after the exodus out of Egypt. But that does not meant that the reward means nothing to me.
Paul, under the influence of the Holy Spirit interprets this text to mean long life on the Earth is the reward for believers. This is more expansive than what was given in the original commandment. This is the wording of the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament that was commonly used at this time, but when Paul quotes it to a bunch of gentiles in Ephesus it becomes obvious that he is not talking about the country given after the exodus out of Egypt. He is talking about the whole world.
The ESV muddies the waters a little bit here when they attempt to read into the text the Hebrew wording and not the actual quotation from Paul, but in the original language it is obvious that “on the earth” is the correct interpretation of Ephesians 6:3. That is why the other translations say that and not “in the land” as the ESV does.
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ephesians 6:3 KJV
3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:3 NLT
3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.
Ephesians 6:3 NASB95
3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:3 NIV
Why the ESV chose to read into the text the Old Testament I do not understand, but I hope that I’ve given you enough information to see what I am talking about.
“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Ephesians 6:3 ESV
The point in all of that is to show that Paul saw the reward as still being in affect today, even though we do not live in the Promised Land. I believe this to be a part of Paul’s eschatology but that is another discussion altogether.
The punishment, as one would expect with the reward being long life, is a shortened life and a disgraceful death.
17 The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.
Proverbs 30:17 ESV
Other Considerations
It seems that honoring people was also extended outside of the family. One command in particular is found in Leviticus 19:32.
You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.
Leviticus 19:32 ESV
This is a stark reminder that we live in a godless age. The elderly are simply not honored in our day. And it becomes more obvious by the minute.
It has also been understood throughout the ages that honoring your father and mother is how you learn to honor other authorities. A child learns to respect authority by being taught to respect their mother and father. Obedience is not natural, it is taught. We are so selfish due to the Fall that we have to be taught these things.
Apply It
We always start with the mirror use of the Law. Let’s do it again. This allows us to see where we fail and the purpose of looking into the mirror of our own sinfulness is to drive us to Christ.
Are you honoring your parents?
Are you figuring out how to provide for them and care for them?
And another question is, how are you with authority overall?
If you see failures in your life then you should turn from them and turn to the Savior. Only Christ can cleanse from sin and so we turn to Him for forgiveness of sin.
The civil use is one that is interesting. If our society were more careful about honoring our parents then it is my assumption that many of the messes we are in would not be around. In fact, we oftentimes send our kids to institutions that actively undermine the relationship between parents and children. When a school says that a child can make big decisions without the parents approval and actually helps to carry out that task it is sinful and wicked. Teaching children about things without the consent of parents is sinful and wicked.
Parental rights are also in serious jeopardy with this potential law, she continued. If the Act passes in the Senate it will filter down to what is taught in public school classrooms and parents won’t be able to object to content because it will be seen as a discrimination issue.
Similarly, parents’ rights to make healthcare decisions for their children would erode with the Act, according to Hartzler, referencing a 2018 case where a judge removed custody from the parents because they objected to their 17-year-old child being prescribed experimental cross-sex hormones.
“If this passes nationwide we could see parents facing a similar situation all over the country,” she said.
When our country creates laws that oppose the family like this one does, it is for us to stand up and object to the matter.
We also see what pleases God in this command. It pleases God for us to honor our father and mother. And we also know that it pleases God when we submit to rightful authorities in our lives. And, as parents, we understand that it pleases God when we teach our children to honor us and other authorities in their lives.
R. Dwain Minor